Who knew what, when, how, and why? This is the question many people are having trouble answering in a succinct manner. But we can be relatively sure that two people on the planet have the answers. When upstart computer firm Microsoft partnered with the previously unknown Department of Defense to create a product for the masses designed to have mass appeal, Microsoft chairman Bill Gates and future Secretary of Defense Robert Gates assured the public their production would be second to none. Unfortunately, it wound up being second to all, in other words dead last. Americans don't like losers, especially when the losers are them. What Gates and Gates have done is, in fact, close the gates of progress and open up the "floodgates" of despair to create what can only be described as a gated community of anguish. (Where the gates remain closed.) We've all read the papers and heard it talked about endlessly on the news. Now most of us are prepared to tear our own heads off before listening to another word on the prophetically named "Gates-Gatesgate scandal." But that just isn't enough in this day and age. What we need to do [Dave, can you finish this - I have no idea where it's going]