So maybe it's time we sat up and took notice of this thing called the USA PATRIOT Act. First of all, it's not an act at all. This thing is for real! No kidding. And get this. It actually stands for Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism. Check it out. You take the capital letters and put them all together and look what it spells. Creepy, ain't it?

But there's more. This thing was passed way back in 2001 and nobody even knew about it until now. Otherwise something like this would have been stopped by outraged citizens. Even lawmakers would have done something if only they had known. What a dirty trick, injecting this evil law into our nation through the apparent use of time travel. The two questions that spring to mind are: 1) Who did this? 2) What can we do about it? 3) What happens when that doesn't work? and 4) How do we make sure we don't get blamed?

These are tough things to consider. So let's not, since we despise doing things that are difficult. Instead, let's ask ourselves why we keep reading about such problems yet continually fail at doing anything to solve them? Wasn't the evidence presented in the first paragraph enough to get you off your ass and outside with a pitchfork and flame thrower, ready to exercise your God-given right to be eternally angry? Apparently not, as you remain here doing nothing, in all likelihood finishing a third paragraph of empty gesturing and preparing to mindlessly go on to a fourth.

Pathetic, that's what you are. It's exactly because of lardasses such as yourself that this country is in the final cycle of a flush. We just hope you're happy. And don't even try and pin this on us. We take no responsibility for the inaction of others. Nor do we take responsibility for our own actions. Or for lost or stolen articles. Hell, we're not even in the country anymore. Stop bugging us already.