Popular Orwellian super knowledge base Google is expanding its repertoire to the Internet. Currently, the secret government think tank offers maps of everyone's homes, pictures of any human who has ever walked the earth, audio recordings of anything said out loud including live feeds of celebrities, an impressive global plumbing network, thought crime detector, and exclusive rights to video productions from civilizations on other planets. Now, the Mountain View based company has decided to take on the Internet. Google plans to test out a service that will allow those currently on the Internet to look for things. A spokesman said in a press release, "Apparently this Internet is a handy way of spreading rumors and engaging in character assassination. We find such activities to be essential in our plans to completely control this world and others. Our secret plans, that is. Not the ones we tell everyone. That thing is off, right?"
The new service is still in the testing stages and for now will simply have a blank bar under the Google name where anyone of legal age can type anything they wish. Upon hitting return, a "searching engine" will start up and visit every computer everywhere looking for an answer to the question that was posed. It sounds like science fiction but those proud men and women of Google won't let that stop them. Assuming adequate fuel, the engine will eventually return from its voyage along with a response for a future generation who will be responsible for the nominal fee. As this is a new service, users are advised not to make the searching engine stall by sending too many requests.