In what can only be described as "embarrassment without precedent," Sprint and MCI have petitioned the FTC to suspend their recent application to merge upon discovery that the two companies had already merged back in 1992. "These things happen in large corporations sometimes," said a red-faced MCI executive who asked that his name or face not be used - other than the observation that his face was in fact red, which admittedly narrows it down to white males so in effect it still could be just about anyone on their executive board. "The thing you have to remember is that we're all really busy. It's not just the making money part which does take up a lot of time, true. I mean, it has to be collected, stored, and sent over to Switzerland. In addition though, in a company this size we're constantly running around dealing with paperwork for insurance claims, travel expenses, birthdays, you name it. Acquiring new buildings and getting the furniture moved in, fitted properly, critiqued, replaced, etc. Company cars, yachts, helicopters, the Learjet fleet.... And don't forget the customers. They play a part in this too. So is it any wonder we might lose track of which company we happen to be a part of and which one we just sued? And yeah, we know we sued ourselves by accident in 2004 - please don't continue to dwell on that." We attempted to get a comment from a Sprint telecommunications executive but discovered that Sprint has not been providing phone service since a malicious virus codenamed "Sprint PCS" destroyed the company's infrastructure and reputation back in 1996. Further complicating matters are claims from a previously unknown company called Verizon who claims to be the real owner of MCI. Nobody we spoke to seemed to know anything about this.