Trouble at School
by: Orin
Last Tuesday
was not a very 1337 day at school for me. It started that morning at about
7:00am. I was getting ready for school and I put on my blue jacket. It
was wet. I thought it was just water left over from rain the previous night,
so, i didnt bother wiping it off. About that time, I heard Scott's car
pull up, so, i ran out the door. When i got to school and stepped into
electronics class, i realized that what I thought was water was actually
cat pee, and it had soaked my shirt underneath, as well as my hair and
arm. I went to the bathroom to try to scrub the cat pee off of my shirt,
arm, and jacket, but, it was no good. The wetness was gone, but, the smell
was still there. So, next class period, i decided to call home. I went
to the student personel office (they handle checking students in/out) and
asked the woman behind the glass if i could use the telephone. She displayed
a nasty grimace and pointed to a sign on the door. I read the sign. "Students
MAY NOT use the student personel telephones; Thats what the payphones are
there for!". Now, me, being orin and all, decided that this was a huge
crock of horse shit. The student personel telephones were put there for
students to use, and basically the payphones were used so JaQuandrius could
call Latrina's beeper, and so LoBendrick could make his crack deals at
between classes. So, i went back and told the nasty bitch behind the glass
that. She shot me that grimace and told me that she didnt really care what
i thought. I left student personel and walked to the payphone by the lockers.
It was surrounded by about 10 7ft tall black guys with gold teeth. I stood
there for about 2 minutes and walked off. Next, i went to the payphone
by the snack machine. It was surrounded by 5 fat chicks in a line waiting
to order themselves pizzas. I felt defeated.
I returned to
the first payphone where the 10 huge guys still stood. I stood there for
another 2 or 3 minutes tapping my foot and then shouted "Get the fuck away
from the phone if you arent going to do anything useful with it". Then,
the 10 guys turned around. They began to shout unintelligible obscenities
at me, and said something amongst themselves about 'getting their boys'.
So, they walked out (i suppose to get their boys), and left the payphone
empty for me. I called my mother at her office and returned to class, careful
to allude JaQuandrius and his boys.
The End.
AOL 0wns by: Cochise
Yes from time
to time even someone as leet as me likes to have fun on AOL.
So there i was
on AOL, my screen name was "Danziblo", just bullshitting around when some
one said something funny (actual phrase withheld for time being for amplified
funnyness later on). So i decide to make (funny phrase) the personal quote
in my profile.
Next day:
There i was
just minding my 0wn business, on AOL again, when i get logged off and it
says "This account is no longer active." So i try to sign on again, "This
account is no longer active". So im thinking "wtf?". No i did not think
"What the fuck?" the actual letters "wtf?" went across my brain. Anyways,
so my mom calls up AOL to see what is going on:
AOL:AOL billing
department this is Isaac, how may i help you?
mom: This is me,
why has my account been cancelled?
Isaac: Let me
check that out for you...OH, do you use the Screen Name
"Danziblo"?
mom: No, but my
son might.
mom to me : Cochise,
do you use the screen name "Danziblo"?
::still wondering
whats going on::
me: yeah
mom to isaac: Yes
my son does.
Isaac: Ma'am
may i speak to your son?
mom: Sure.
::mom hands phone
to me::
note: mom does not
look too happy
me: hello?
Isaac: This
is Isaac from AOL billing...
me: Hi Isaac.
Isaac: Uh yes,
sir do you use the Screen Name "Danziblo"?
me: I sure do isaac
(funny phrase mentioned
above coming up)
Isaac: And did
you make a profile for that Screen Name that said
"I am a gay
cartoon-pedophile?"
I started laughing
so hard at the fact that he actually said "I am a gay cartoon-pedophile"
that I had to give the phone back to my mom. He then told her
what my profile said and she proceeded to beat the hell out of me but i
was still laughing so hard that i hardly noticed.
So why dont you
give ol' Isaac in billing a call (1-800-827-6364) and see if you can get
him to say "i am a gay cartoon-pedophile like he did for me.
The End.