Disclaimer: Let me forewarn all you die-hard kevin mitnick fans. If you cant take a joke, press the 'back' arrow on your browser. I dont want to hear any crap later about me 'picking on/making light of his situation in prison'. He got himself in prison; noone did it for him. What he did was against the law, and he knew the consequences. Yes, the criminal justice system is flawed, and yes, the criminal justice system is as slow as Dcy. But, for every 1 Kevin that *did* commit a crime, there are thousands of people out there who have been waiting around much longer than him, are getting treated much worse than him, and didnt do a damn thing wrong. Why dont you guys protest their stays in prison? *0rin
Let the silliness begin.
An Interview With Kevin
(This interview was conducted on AOL. Kevin came to us live from prison, where he sat in the heavily-guarded computer room. All precautions were taken to see that he did not 'wh1$tl3 th3 l4unch k0d3z t0 $t4rt w0rld w4r 3!!@#'). The following is an unedited log of the chat we had.
OnlineHost: *** You are in "Teen Chat" ***
NeatoElito: Greetings, Kevin!
NeatoElito: So, Kevin, where should we start?
Kevin: I dont know. Hold on a second, i've got to do something.
NeatoElito: of course.
Kevin: ----››FateX˛ Punter Loaded
Kevin: sorry, just a security measure. Go on.
NeatoElito: Ok.. Well, lets begin with you. How have you been holding up in prison?
Kevin: Well, Its pretty lonely out here. I'm in solitary confinement for turning a can of tuna into a tone dialer.
NeatoElito: Whats prison life like?
Kevin: Well, after I wake up, I go to the rec room, where they used to let me use the excercise machine. But, I stole the pulse-rate counter's password by wh1$tl1ng th3 l4unch k0d3z t0 $t4rt w0rld w4r 3, and they confined me to the ab roller.
NeatoElito: Interesting. So, i take it you're still hax0ring the prison system.
NeatoElito: do you ever recieve any physical threats?
Kevin: Well, when i first came to prison, Phiber Optik was still encarcerated. I suppose he felt threatened by my elite presence, and he got some of his LOD prison buddies to give me a little scare.
NeatoElito: that's amazing.
Kevin: yeah; they taught me a little lesson with a broomhandle that i won't soon forget.
NeatoElito: Well, lets move on to your personal life.
Do you get conjugal visits with any special ladies in your life?
Kevin: I had a brief romance with a young lady named Kristin. I believe she's moved on to more elite hackers, though.
Kevin: i'm sorry, im still rather sensative..
NeatoElito: there there, kevin.
Kevin: i can't believe you brought that up.
Kevin: i'm sorry to have to do this, but..
Kevin: ----››FateX˛ Punter Loaded
Kevin: IMs: 100
Method: LaG PuNt
Kevin: PrePaRe tO DiE!!!
OnlineHost: NeatoElito has left the room.
Kevin: $c0r3 1 f0r d4 m4$t4 h4x0r!@@$#
Kevin: does ne1 have any invokes?!?
Kevin: I WILL TRADE 4 LEVEN 7 TOKENS FOR MASTER AOL
OnlineHost: NeatoElito has entered the room.
NeatoElito: That was uncalled for.
Kevin: sorry, just protecting myself.
NeatoElito: I see.
NeatoElito: so, kevin, what do you plan to do if you ever get out of prison?
Kevin: Well, the first thing I'm going to do is get a big juicy steak from the Sizzler. And after that, I'm gonna go home, sign on AOL, and do a little long-awaited hacking.
NeatoElito: And if you never leave prison?
Kevin: Well, if worse comes to worse, i suppose I'll just have to wh1$tl3 th3 l4unch k0d3z t0 $t4rt w0rld w4r 3!!@#.